Friday, 1 January 2016

The Clown Prince of E7.

As its the end of the year, I have decided to try to break with tradition and not look back on the past 12 months but rather look at immediate, short term and future issues for Clapton FC.

As a silver surfer I am always delighted to read a statement from Vince McBean's website (, if only for its comic value, and his Christmas message 2015 lived up to its predecessors in being heavy on nonsense, with a staggering stench of male bovine excrement.  What is the fool on about?  Vince has demonstrated, once again, is that he has no actual grasp of non league football and to refer to a planned promotion to the Vauxhall Conference was worth a chorus of 'Ho Ho Ho's from even those who don't believe in Santa Claus.  Furthermore, I am also not sure who he considers are his 'Clapton family'. It's all a bit bizarre, even by his standards, and whilst I note that he no longer signs off his stupidity personally, it was reminiscent of Joe Maplin's proclamations to the Yellow Coat workers in the comedy series Hi de Hi. (Ho de Ho).  Comedy Gold Vince, keep them coming.

By contrast, I was delighted to listen to the 'Dogcast' which is a audio broadcast by members of the Clapton Ultras.  The most recent episode was the most enlightening so far particularly the discussions as to why our team has suffered the recent drop in form.  The opinions differed among the presenters but, this was an ample demonstration that Clapton has a committed, informed and knowledgeable following with whom it has every chance of pulling away from its present predicament.  That is, of course, provided we get rid of the Clown Prince Vince and install the likes of presenters Matt, Eva and Josh as the future of Clapton FC.  I was also very impressed with the interview by Geoff Ocran who has been an outstanding captain and, for me, has earned the right to be mentioned alongside other excellent Clapton leaders such as Colin Watson, Bryn Key, Keith Elley and Peter Mason.  Clapton FC cannot afford to lose people such as him.  So, a great Dogcast, more please. and for those who haven't heard it, this is the link.

Looking forward, the first team have a very busy January.  I think the talk of promotion, not least to the "Vauxhall Conference", can be shelved for now and we ought to start trying to accumulate a few points.  Saturday sees us up against London Bari and whilst I appreciate the obvious 'derby' connection, I, for one, feel no sense of rivalry towards them, save for the fact they have consistently lined Vince's pockets over the past four seasons in 'rent money'. For me, 'rivalry' status is reserved for the likes Mr Fenn's mob from IG1 and the club from 'up the creek' who moved to Mayesbrook Park, Dagenham in 1973. London Bari's arrival at the Dog was as 'big time charlies', the whole shebang being bankrolled by by a wealthy owner. Accordingly they beat us handsomely with their mercenary players who, and I shall stifle a guffaw, failed to gain promotion out of the Essex Senior League as which was contrary to their expectations.

Consequently, most of that group moved onto Redbridge FC and, therefore, I am looking forward to our meeting at Barkingside's ground on the 19th January in the London Senior Cup and very much hope we stuff 'em.

Saturday's match will again prove an interesting indication of how our team measure up. Last season, before the Redbridge exodus, I'd have probably had got a game for Bari as they finished just off bottom spot.  This season they have steadied the ship and have gradually improved.  As things stand, they are above us in the table with games in hand. Having flattered to deceive in the first 12 games of the season, our team need a boost and there is no better time than the beginning of the year.  I hope they can do it and reward the fantastic support to which we have become accustomed to witness at every home game.

The Clapton family? Not if Clown Price Vince is the Daddy.

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