Irresistible Force Meets Immovable Object?

This missive is being sent from my sick bed. I have finally succumbed to the dreaded flu and am currently dosed up on various linctii and Lemsip in the hope that I might be in some kind of condition to be able to travel on the Welwyn Garden express next week.

Inevitably I was forced to miss the Bowers and Pitsea game along with the 'Ultras' clean up at the Old Spotted Dog pub before the game and it is towards this group of 'Claptonites' to whom I wish to refer this week.

I know I keep going on about the years I have spent at the Old Spotted Dog, the change of managers and players along with the comings and goings of chairmen and bar staff etc. In all those years, I believe that I have witnessed, particularly over the past couple of seasons, a course of events that has changed my views as to what is the future for Clapton Football Club.

Three years ago it would be fair to say that 'Clapton Football Club' were going through the motions, both on and off the field. The mystery that is 'the club house and it's management' was functioning of sorts. The ground was being as extensively used, as ever (keeping the money rolling in) and a Clapton team was struggling to keep off the foot of the Essex Senior League. With no disrespect to the team manager Wilfred Thomas, who did as good a job as he was able in difficult circumstances, the whole shebang was shambolic. I also know that was a move, in which Vince was involved, to sell the lease on the ground which would certainly have undermined and probably spelt the death knell to the club.

But the new air of optimism at the ground and has come about primarily due to a group of men and women, now famously referred to as the 'Clapton Ultras', who rolled up, parked their bike and said, “we can have some good times here”. And so they have.

The support from the scaffold is unprecedented at this level of football. It is good humoured, witty and inoffensive even if an opposition player or a 'sexy lino' becomes the focus of attention. Sure, there is a bit of politics thrown in alongside the clear anti-fascist message, but the atmosphere is generally one of bon vivant and inclusivity. I am not a political animal so the politics do not worry or offend me, but having been born not so long after the second world war, I have a pretty good understanding of the consequences of allowing fascism to germinate and grow. Anyway, wasn't society celebrating the re-emergence of political awareness amongst the young in the recent Scottish independence campaign?

However, there is much more to this group. (who I previously called 'oiks', which I revoke unconditionally) Their obvious drive and enthusiasm for the club is punctuated by a clear social conscience which, I believe, will put help Clapton FC back in the heart of the Forest Gate community. Last season we saw food bank collections and the sale of bracelets to raise funds for Gaza children charities. Last Saturday they linked up with the Save the Spotted Dog group to clean around the old pub. Our little corner of East London is rapidly becoming a forgotten area of Newham. The tyre shop is an eyesore and the debris around the place appears to go unchecked. (although I am given to understand that the the tyre firm are subject of an expired eviction notice) So I very much hope that Saturday's clean up will be as widely publicised as was the re-decoration of Vince's private bar by 'Tesco volunteers'.

But going back to Clapton football matters, this group are undoubtedly very well versed into the situation at the Vince's club and, despite the quagmire behind the scenes, they are continuing to support the eleven or so lads that put on the famous red and white shirt. I am therefore surprised that Vince has not made any attempt to try to include or involve them 'his' club. However, I expect that he probably recognises that they do not share his 'vision' for the future of Clapton FC.

But the future is certainly bright. The Ultras are well up for the forthcoming FA Vase game at Welwyn match and I have no doubt that the team will be well supported on the day. Vince might even be there, he usually is if there is a sponsorship cheque to be contested. 

However, the 'train poster' produced by the Ultras for the trip to Welwyn is prophetic in itself.

This Clapton FC train is undoubtedly moving forward. Not necessarily at full tilt yet, but it is an irresistable force and should not be ignored. I, for one, want to be aboard that train (both physically and metaphorically) as I see it taking my club to a place that it has not been for many many years. I want to be part of a club, as I was before, where I was able to vote to elect the Chairman and Secretary etc. I see these young men and women as being the future of Clapton FC. They are clearly well organised. They exhibit an enthusiasm and commitment to Clapton FC that is the envy of many clubs at our level and above. They are keen to get Clapton involved in local issues and to throw the doors of the club open to the community. They are far from naïve, and do not necessarily swallow Vince's various diatribes and statements. Most importantly, they are not going away.

It's my opinion that it is time for Vince to actively engage with them, many of whom are members of the Real Clapton FC, in order to resolve various inconsistencies and disputes that have been exposed at Clapton over recent years. For him to ignore them might be a very costly error indeed.

An irresistible force, such as the rolling stock that is Real Clapton FC (and the virus that is laying me low) should not be ignored. Is Vince an immovable object?  Time will tell, but the cracks are certainly beginning to become apparent.


LEW LISTZ
28th September 2014
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Charmed I'm Sure

In my time as a Clapton supporter of some years I have seen numerous managers come and go.  I remember the successes under Fred Beaumont and the tactical excellence of Mickey Cleaver, Terry Dempsey and Derek Baker.  Since then, Dickson Gill put a good time together, same too Jim Hendry, and John Arnold did an excellent job in difficult circumstances.  Vince McBean was also a self appointed team manager at one stage!  He sacked himself, which probably goes down as one of his best decisions to date.

But we are only a few weeks into the season and, following our win at Basildon last week, their manager decided to leave, citing work commitments as being the reason.  Admittedly, the Bees had not made the best of starts but isn’t it a bit early for throwing in the towel.

The managerial merry go round has already touched Clapton this season.  Since the turn of the year we lost Neil Day and Chris Wood in what were very ‘naughty’ circumstances.  Their replacement Marc Nurse, the ‘director of football’, and Vince McBean’s mole in the dressing room, has now decided to leave the club having helped Vince dismantle what was a very capable and popular management team.  Now Marc Nurse toddles off to Southend.  A good career move?  Not sure but he will undoubtedly have a good think, a long think, about it in due course.

The interesting question is why Marc decided to leave.  Just before his departure the club were advertising for a coach and then Kevin Lucas arrived.  Kevin is an experienced guy so I am unsure whether he would have wanted to have been just ‘coach’, and it is no surprise we now have co-managers.  Seems a bit of a botch, but time will tell.

What of Mike Walther?  Admittedly, he is untried at this level, but did he need someone to ‘hold his hand’? Why was he not trusted on his own.  Let's face it, many of last season's players have stayed at the club (which speaks volumes as to the idiocy of the sackings) and consequently the team has made a good start.

It’s all a bit gun-ho and unsettling for everybody.  I think that the actual team management know this and by the way they ‘worked the room’ at Basildon, it is clear that they are trying to get the supporters on side.  However, there are supporters, such as me, who remain blocked by the clubs twitter feed which indicates that the ‘siege mentality’ continues.

I am forever mindful that this team management were appointed by, and are ultimately answerable to Vince McBean.  They are actually the beneficiaries of the sacking of Day and Wood.  Their new charm offensive is welcomed but, in my view, the continued support for the team by the supporters should not be regarded as tacit support for Mr McBean or his allies.

A member of the Real Clapton FC said to me recently that managers are like boyfriends and girlfriends.  You might even love them when they are with you but they come and go.  I’m a bit old for girlfriends these days but, speaking as a Grandad, I wouldn’t wish for the present boyfriends/girlfriends of my grandchildren to be mistaken in assuming that they have already got their feet under the table in my family.  I would like to find out whether their intentions are honourable or if they continue to be beholden and answerable to a 'bit on the side' that they are trying to gloss over.

It's not enough for the team management to say, "we are not interested in the politics".  Their appointment owes itself to the politics and they obviously knew of the situation when they were approached or applied.

Colours, masts and nails spring to mind.

LEW LISTZ
24th September 2014
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Ca Plane Pour Moi

Never thought interviewing would be my forte, but last week’s encounter with Woodsy and Neil seemed to be generally well received so I’m at it again. Can’t see it taking off to any great extent but it’s a challenge for me in my old age and hopefully some sort of entertaining read for those who care about the Real Clapton Football Club.

This time it’s a cross-Channel  connection via something my daughter has set up for the purpose called Skype.  Hard to believe for people of my generation but I can actually see Andy in all his glory, blue and white stripe fisherman's style  jumper and rather dodgy pork pie style hat. Relaxing in his conservatory on a brown leather sofa that has seen better days he is the very essence of a man living a relaxed life, beautiful scenic views outside the window and a suitably cooled vintage wine in his hand.

I have gone for a similar set up to last week’s encounter, cheese and onion crisps at the ready and 4 bottles of the larger Tyskie bottles now available, as a subliminal tribute to East London’s finest supporters. So the scene is set and as Secret Affair might say’ This is the time, the time for action’, my daughter presses some sort of play icon, gives me the thumbs up and we’re on air (or at least I think we are).

Lew	Hi Andy, how you doing, can you hear me?  (Lew waves still genuinely amazed about the technology)
Andy	Not too bad Lew (raising his wine glass as to emphasise the benefits of the good life in France (show off-Ed)
Lew	Andy, firstly it’s really good to talk to you.  All joking aside I’d like to thank you for your dogged efforts in putting Clapton back where it should be, how have you kept your motivation to continue the fight ?
Andy	Lew you wily old Dog - that’s one of those questions that could have me talking for hours. You had better check you’ve got enough battery life or find an alternative power source right now (nervous laughter from Lew)  I’ll try to keep it as short as possible but as you’ll appreciate it’s a subject close to my heart.  I suppose the bottom line is I’m a Clapton Fan and, for some of us, that’s a  lifelong commitment even if it seems more like a life sentence at times. Supporting the club has given me some great moments over the years. Have you seen the film The Monuments Men?  I watched it recently and think of CFC as Forest Gate’s own little National Treasure and in need of protection.  What I have seen is that there are those who have interests that either conflict with those of Clapton FC and/or they are using the club's name and history for their own ends.  I’m very determined by nature (DOGgedly?- ed) and am resolved to Clapton FC to being a real club, run by the members and putting things on an even keel.  Fortunately, I have met some similarly determined like minded people and hopefully the momentum we have generated will continue to build so that we achieve our objective.
Pause whilst Lew starts fiddling with the plethora of icons, knobs and various switches  in front of him.
Lew	Andy, from what I can see on the screen you have a very nice life in France, how does your wife put up with your second love Clapton FC?
Andy	I must say my wife has been very supportive.  She knows how strongly I feel about the cause, but one has to draw the line. I would like to see the team more but I do get over whenever possible and try to combine it with other events.  So, contrary to popular belief, my life is much more than Clapton, Clapton, Clapton.
Lew (jokingly)	So a divorce isn’t on the cards quite yet then?
Andy	No chance.  Priorities and mutual understanding/support goes a long way.  I’m sure people will appreciate the campaign to establish the ‘Real Clapton’ Football Club has taken up a lot of time but, like all things in life, it is important to ensure it does not become all consuming.  I’d like to think I’ve got the balance right and I can only hope Carole agrees (loud laughing from all as Mme Barr enters the room with a large tray laden with a steaming served in a Clapton mug and a delicious looking large doughnut)
Lew-(sarcastically)	Oh, and by the way, how’s the diet going Andy ? Any plans to apply for the ‘fan on the field’ competition at this year’s Orient game (laughter all round)
Andy	I have lost three grams since July. Anyway, I thought that was your speciality Lew, I read recently that you bottled last year’s game at the last moment, perhaps you can tell me more about that? (mischievous look in his eye)
Lew	(slightly grumpily and a bit put out at the roles being reversed).  OK I’ll tell you what happened but I’ve taken a lot of stick already for it from my friends down The Legion. To cut a long story short I was decorating my spare room in Clapton colours and dropped 2 cans of paint on my metatarsal as they fell off the ladder (whoever said ‘these colours don’t run’ are wrong). I was left with a pink carpet and an injury which hampered my preparation for the Orient game. As the big day approached I got more and more worried about playing in front of the Ultras as well as exposing my identity and reputation as the ‘masked man’ of the Old Spotted Dog. I’m not proud of it but whilst the sound of my name being sung to the rafters rather appealed, the giggles and whispers would have lived with me the rest of my life. I decided to lie low and keep my anonymity amongst the crowd, must say all in all I think I made the right decision-it was a great day and will live in the memory for all the right reasons. Anyway Andy this is my show, let’s put you back in the spotlight.  Are you excited about the future for Clapton?.
Andy	I think there is every reason to be excited at what has been achieved since the re-emergence of the club in the past two years. The potential that could be realised, when it is run by the members once more, is immense.  However, this isn't the place to go into details (he comically stuffed the remains of said doughnut into mouth) but (slightly muffled by chewing ) we’ve made strides in the right direction and I’m encouraged about the future.  Let's face it, two years ago, before the formation of the Friends of Clapton FC, the team were playing in front of 19 spectators.
Lew	Sorry Andy, I didn’t catch all of that, but am I right in summing up that fans like myself have every reason to be optimistic?
Andy	Absolutely.  I think that optimism has been there for a while, the ever increasing attendances and the positive press in connection to the Ultras are testimony to that. It’s no secret that the whole issue of future prosperity and security hinges upon the issue of who runs Clapton Football Club and the sky’s the limit once that has been resolved. There has been frustration that the only one person is benefitting from the current crowds and relative success of the team but I’ve said it before and I’ll put it on record again this is only short term gain.  The fans have adopted the mantra of supporting the team not the regime and the issues, no matter how many statements or diatribes are put out, will not go away. The fans appear to be quite resolute as to how they want the club to be run and, I believe that will happen eventually.  Patience and passive protest are the order of the day at the moment whilst things are developing behind the scenes.
Lew starts yet another chorus of Chris & Neil’s Red and White Army whilst holding aloft his cherished Ultras scarf, much to Andy’s amusement.
	Also, it's important that the players keep doing well.  Much of the squad have been with the club since the days of Neil and Woodsy and it is no surprise that they have made a good start.  These players obviously have an affinity to Clapton FC and the supporters.  No matter what the frustrations of the players might be, I can promise them that the frustrations of the fans are greater.  The supporters are sticking by the team and I would like the team to continue to stick by the supporters.
Lew	I’ve just been warned by my daughter that my batteries are running low.  I hope she means on the computer not my pacemaker (more laughter both sides of the channel).  I want to finish by thanking you again for your sterling efforts in helping to resurrect the fortunes of this great club, and wishing you every success in the fight to get it back in safe hands and on an even keel.  I’m sure all Real Clapton FC fans will echo those sentiments. Au revoir mon ami
Andy	No problem Lew, and your secret is safe with me.  Bye mate.  See you soon.  Andy types a Skype SMS  "Les murs s'effritent, Nous attendons nos temps"
Lew	And, as the great Plastic Bertrand once said, "Ça Plane Pour Moi"

LEW LISTZ
18th September 2014
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Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?

             whatever happened to the likely lads?

Like most real Clapton FC fans I do admit to missing Woodsy and Neil Day and I was delighted when they agreed to meet me for a couple of beers to chat about the club. During an evening punctuated by lager and cheese and onion crisps I managed to ask them a couple of questions.  The following is an edited transcript of what I recorded, leaving out Neil's account of his 'best bits' at the Orient match  last May

Lew	Right, we're recording. Please do not swear, Mrs Listz has a low tolerance of blasphemy, profanity, nudity, bu**ery and alliteration. (all laugh) OK Gents, nice to see you both again.  How's life without Clapton FC?
Chris	Well I can't say it's been easy.  I certainly miss the day to day involvement along with the players and fans, but life goes on I've been keeping myself busy.
Lew	I've noticed you've been involved in David Fallah playing for Boston, how did that come about?
Chris	Dave's a player I really rated last year and I've always thought he could fulfil more of his potential (as a ex England School International). As I'm near Boston regularly I recommended him to the Manager and the rest is history. To be fair to Dave he's made the most of the opportunity so good luck to him.
Lew	And you Neil, how are you doing?
Neil	Like Chris said, true to say I've really missed life at Clapton but I had plenty of time away from the changing room last year so it should be a little easier for me. Supporting Chris and the team last year at least kept me involved, things are a little different this season. May not be the most popular view but the team isn't mine and Chris's anymore although it does exist almost entirely of the players we brought on over the last 2 seasons.  As a result I just can't support it, however much I like the players.  A number of players made a stand not to play for current regime so it's not a straightforward situation. To get back to your question as Chris said, at the end of the day you just have to get on with things. I've played a full cricket season for the first time in many years although the team might have wished I hadn’t. (all laugh)  And I've had more time for my scouting work at Leyton Orient, so some good things have come out of it.
Lew	I'm surprised you're not both at a club this year, have others clubs approached you?
Chris	I won't go into details but fair to say we've both had offers individually and as a pair. I've spoken to Neil about this and trouble is due to the fantastic support it's really hard for anything at this level to compare with the buzz the fans created last year. It's a bit of a two edged sword as where else below the Ryman Prem can you experience some of the great moments we've had in the last 2 seasons.
Neil	I think Chris has got it spot on, personally I've had quite a few offers and I've kept my hand in coaching a couple of Junior teams as well as one from the Olympian.  In a nutshell, it's been pretty enjoyable but it's not Clapton, maybe we've been spoilt but even went to went to watch Orient the other day the atmosphere seemed sterile in comparison to a Clapton game.   I left at half time and caught the second half at Mile End - it was buzzing.
Lew	I was at that game and commented on the great reception you received.  That mist have been nice for you in that the fans have continued to voice their support for you and Chris.
Neil	It's fair to say the fans never fail to amaze me.  It's nice to know that they never fail to let the current regime know we're not forgotten even in victory.
Lew	(sings) ’Chris and Neil’s Red and White Army’ (much to the bemusement of Chris and Neil.  Everyone creases up.).
Neil	The reception at Mile End was great, but altogether the support they have shown to both me and Chris collectively and individually over the last couple of years has been top drawer.  To play in front of them at Brisbane Road was a fantastic feeling, if I'd scored I think I'd still be celebrating today (all laugh again)
Lew	I was going to make a comeback in that game but to my shame I bottled it at the last moment.  I think you two surprised a few of us that day, do you get to play much yourselves nowadays?
Chris	(smiling fondly at the memory of the Orient game), We both set out with one aim and that was not to disgrace ourselves.  Out of pride we didn't want the fans to laugh at us running around like headless chickens and I think, by and large, we achieved that. All joking aside it might not have been too noticeable ,we both made some sort of effort to get in shape (more laughter). Neil started to play for my Sunday team for about 6 weeks beforehand, when I first saw him play he literally couldn't move in the warm up, he's the same immediately after the game-in between he doesn't stop running and can still put in a tackle so the old boy’s got something about him still . I must admit he surprised me a bit.  I suppose it's a case of don't judge a book by it's cover.
-      Neil responds by being equally appreciative of Chris's efforts on the pitch, clearly there is a mutual respect which transcends the Spotted Dog dug out.
Neil	It was quite surprising bearing in mind I first played with Chris when I was 49. They put us both in centre midfield together, probably the one place I wouldn't have chosen given the choice. It was a bit uncanny but we seemed to have an instant bond, maybe it was all those team talks telling players what we thought they should be doing, either way every time I got the ball Chris seemed to be available to receive it and visa versa, if one of us went forward the other would cover and so on so on, I've played with a lot of better players than Chris but I don't think I've enjoyed playing with any other player as much-I think it surprised both of us without getting him too big headed.
Lew	The disharmony within the club has been well documented, are you surprised at how well the team are doing so far this season?
Chris	I've got to say I'm not surprised as the current management have assembled a good group of players, as Neil touched upon, it’s a bit ironic that the team is essentially a combination of the sides we had for the last 2 seasons but they've done well so it's hard to knock the results. Rumours that there is some sort of wage budget at the club this season and that's not something me and Neil experienced, so they do have advantages but there you go.
Neil	If you look at the players they've got and the momentum built up, the recipe is there for success. Add the fantastic support they receive then it really should be no surprise they are doing well, true to say if the fans did actually support the regime we could see even more extraordinary results. To give the current team management regime a little credit they have played some players in different positions and it's worked so far, but it’s a long season.  So its fair to say the jury’s out (both figuratively and literally-Ed), I have said before that to me the results are by and large irrelevant, the fans are a pretty ethical bunch and have long memories.  They gave us brilliant support when losing regularly in our first season and will judge what happened behind the scenes when a fans takeover hopefully becomes a reality.  As Bananarama said ' It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it" and the current management need to have a long think about that-a long hard think. (everyone laughs)
Lew	Didn't Bananarama also sing "Na na, Hey Hey, Kiss Him Goodbye"?  (More laughter).
Neil	No kissing though ! (even more laughter)
Lew	Chris, Neil.  It's been a pleasure to talk to you both as always.  I wish you both luck in whatever you decide to do and hopefully we might see you back at the OSD some time in the future.
As I sat down to write this piece I could not help thinking what a really nice pair of guys they are who, despite being disgustingly treated, are able to share honest and objective opinions about a club which they obviously care about. I have no doubt that our paths will continue to cross.

LEW LISTZ
5th September 2014
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